CAT'S PATTERN WALK

(as told to her Mrrr companion, Shen Kuei, after her return to Haven palace)

I never thought I'd realise the dream so easily. When Morgaine said she could take me to walk Rebma's Pattern there and then I almost didn't believe it. There was no way I was going to pass up the chance to do what I'd been wanting even before I knew what it was I dreamed of. I took Morgaine's hand and we were there.

The Pattern - I'd dreamed of its whorls of cold fire before I ever knew what they were. The reality was beyond those dreams. It took me a few moments to register Morgaine asking if I wanted any witnesses to my walk. I wished that you could have been there but you'd have hated being wet. I'm not sure why I suggested Kelric, except that I felt he had a right to be there if he wanted. I hardly waited for him to arrive before I started.

From the first step I knew this was what I had been born to do and must do, not least because to fail would mean my death. I took another step and felt the current run through me, making me one with the Pattern. I approached the First Veil, concentrating on moving steadily. Images filled my mind; riding in green hills and sailing the lakes of Killarney when I was still young enough to think life was simple; newspaper headlines from the same time which made a mockery of those childhood certainties. I struggled with the Veil and finally it parted. I moved on, feeling the waters stirred by my passage. More images filled my mind, this time of faces. Some of them I had seen in Haven, others I did not recognise, but I knew they were all relatives. The Pattern was playing guessing games, trying to distract me with surmises as to which of them might be my true parents. I gritted my teeth and kept on, concentrating on the line of fire ahead. The Second Veil began to make its presence felt, bringing with it images of my surrogate parents and the bitter arguments there had been over my determination to dance. I felt almost sorry for them now; they could not have known quite what a cuckoo they were raising. What chance had they of imposing their will on a child of Amber?

Quite suddenly I was through the Second Veil as I thought of what it means to be a child of Amber. I understood then that my exceptional good health and unusual strength are all part of that heritage and that I would need them in full to finish what I had started here. I drew on the disciplines I had learned from Tai Ch'i and settled in to the long haul of the filigree and the Grand Curve, banishing conscious thought beyond what was needed to take the next step.

After what seemd like an eternity I felt the resistance ease. The vistas of Shadow opened before me and I knew that I had the power to walk them and eternity to explore them should I so desire. All I had to do was take the last few steps, but then I hit the Final Veil. Corwin described it as like trying to push through a concrete wall and he was right. It seemed as if Time stood still as I struggled to take that final step. I reminded myself that dripping water can wear away stone and kept pushing. Finally the barrier parted and I was through. I had succeeeded in claiming my heritage. Elation banished some of my exhaustion and I turned to wave to Morgaine and Kelric.

To my surprise, Kelric in wolf form was walking the Pattern towards me while Morgaine was talking to Max, who was busy taking photos. Kelric joined me at the centre - he's a real pussycat in wolf form, by the way - and we posed for more photos. Max walked the Pattern too. He and Kelric seemed to find it much easier than I had.

We had all rejoined Morgaine and were preparing to leave when things turned scary. The Pattern spoke to us! It seems it didn't care for Kelric's attitude, which was rather cavalier, I must admit, and wanted the four of us to walk it together in some kind of ritual to increase its power relative to the other Powers. Well, we didn't really have much option but to agree. So there we were, Morgaine leading with the Jewel of Judgment which the Pattern had summoned from somewhere, Kelric, Max, and me last to close the line. Kelric persisted in treating the whole thing as some sort of joke - he even summoned up a disco to play the conga to accompany us until I asked him to stop.

I'm not sure what the others felt, but I know I understood the workings of the Pattern much better that second time around. There were far fewer head games and the walk was easier, too. That may have been because the Pattern wanted us to walk it, I suppose. When we finished, the Pattern was definitely brighter than it had been and you could feel the difference in the air, or water, rather. Something had passed from us to the Pattern, I'm sure. I was suddenly shattered, and I think the others must have been as well because we didn't even talk about what we had just done but each went our own way.

So that's the story, and now I'm going to sleep for at least a week.

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